It's all over the news, radio, and Internet. It is invading nearly every topic of conversation and is causing widespread fear. I'm sure you know what I am talking about - swine flu - or as the government would like us to now call it because the pork companies are losing money - H1N1 virus.
I don't usually let stuff like this get to me. I will joke about it of course, but usually don't take it too seriously since the media likes to hype everything up so much. However, I am genuinely concerned right now for the health and safety of myself and my family. My husband has Type I diabetes so he is more susceptible to illness and additionally has a harder time fighting it off when infected in addition to having to worry about his blood sugar levels when not being able to eat or losing fluids from illness. Then there is my 3 year old son who also may be susceptible to illness due to his age and his proximity to other children at school. His school has been taking extra precautions at this time (we even got a long letter about it yesterday) so I feel like he is relatively safe, but I guess you never know. And other schools and even major school districts now are taking precautions and shutting down their schools. It's kind of a crazy time!
Of course my fears were multiplied this morning when I heard on the radio about this doctor who is claiming that the swine flu outbreak is actually much worse than what is being reported due to the delay in testing and verification from the CDC and that there are actually 10-25 times MORE cases of this than what are being reported. He also explains the seriousness of it and how people are in hospitals now fighting it with the help of drugs and respirators, but that if it continues to spread, we may be out of the needed number of supplies before being able to help everyone that may become infected.
I hate this - it makes me not sleep well at night in fear that I or one of my family members will contract this stupid illness. I hate the fact that I feel the need to run out and stock up my fridge and pantry in case we need to stay in the house for awhile and fill my gas tank in case we need to drive off somewhere (not sure where we would go to avoid this one though). I hate that it makes me question my everyday activities - like going to the local restaurant we eat at every Friday night or picking up a few things at Target or Walmart. I hate that it makes me super hyper about washing my hands or at least using antibacterial lotion stuff to the point that my hands are getting dry. I hate this.
We are the United States - a superpower - why can we not fight this disease? If we can make a vaccine to prevent the regular flu, why can we not come up with both a vaccine to prevent as well as medicine to help if you do become infected? We need to get moving because having to shut down the US for a few days to a week would have an even more devastating impact on our economy due to the lack of productivity for that time period and would cause sheer panic. That is not the world I want to live in nor raise my son in, and I truly hope that we can figure this out sooner than later.
I don't want to be afraid any longer....
4.30.2009
4.29.2009
I just can't fight this feeling any more...
As my brain secretly hums the cheesy 80s song in the background, I thought it was time for me to write again on some things I've been pondering lately. I am very angry at myself lately because I am in a funk. I am feeling discouraged, I am feeling confused, and I'm just not feeling like things are right in my world. I am definitely hitting some sort of partial-life crisis or something!
This all started a few weeks ago when my review went a little differently than I first imagined it would. It wasn't a bad review in the slighest. I received the highest marks possible in the section having to do with my work, and the good job marks in the other areas as well. However, two years ago when I had been promoted to my current position, I had asked how the whole career progression worked, and they told me while it is not exactly laid out very well (major issue!), that in two years I should be eligible for the next promotion.
So I kind of thought my chance had come, and I would at least be given the option. Now you may wonder why I said option vs. promotion because there are very few cases someone would not WANT to accept a promotion. However, being the genius people that they are, this promotion step (even though it's not the right time because I wouldn't be managing anyone or anything like that) would switch me from being able to get overtime/double-time like I currently am to being solely salaried. I had heard complaining before from people in my same position in other offices that they actually felt like they lost money in switching over, which is why I thought I would be given the choice and get to see what the pure salary version would be vs. what I make with salary and overtime in a typical year. However, I was told that they hadn't "pushed" for my promotion this year because of the economy and that it probably wasn't a good time to have to switch over.
All of this I understand and I may have decided against taking the promotion,but at the same time, it really hurt me that I wasn't given the choice. It made me feel like I wasn't performing well (even though that wasn't the case) and it made me feel like others in the company who didn't know the reasoning behind it would think I wasn't performing well since I didn't receive the promotion even though people in other offices who have been at our company for less time got it earlier. To top it all off, my coworker did receive her first promotion (which she definitely deserved), but now we are the same exact title and she has been here for just over a year, and I have been here over 3.5 years!!!
From that point on, I was determined to figure out how I could better myself even further so that they would stop and pay attention and give me recognition or a promotion or something. If this company wasn't willing to help me further myself by giving me the promotion, then I needed to do something for myself. So I looked at certifications I could receive and masters degrees that I might want to pursue and everything else under the sun. As much as I might enjoy and even prosper later on down the line from partaking in something like that, in the short term, those things equal extra $$, and since I didn't get a raise this year nor did my husband due to the economy), we are feeling the pinch in trying to be conscious of our budget especially since our son starts full-time preschool in the fall which will cost us twice what we are paying now!
Needless to say, I was a bit frustrated, but I have tried to plod on and not be disappointed or discouraged. I am hoping our economy picks up soon so I have other options eventually - I'm not very patient with this time of our world! This weekend, though, put the final nail in the coffin for me and I'm having a very hard time feeling motivated or excited about work-related life. My good friend that I have known my entire life told me how much she makes and how she was going to ask for a raise since they are underpaying her, and the amount she CURRENTLY makes without the raise is $21 THOUSAND more than me!!!! Not to mention the fact that she started at her company a year after I started at mine, AND I actually interviewed at that company when I interviewed at my current company, didn't get the job so I took this job, then they called me a month in and said they made a mistake and wanted to hire me, and I told them I was happy and settling in to my new position and wasn't interested. It makes me want to shoot myself in the foot!!!!
I know that everything happens for a reason, and I will continue to maintain a positive front for all of the world to see. I just need the ability to vent about it and put my thoughts out there. As frustrated as I am with the situation, I know God has a plan, and the last time I was in this situation of frustration, God provided me with many things. I am hoping we can get to church this Sunday so I can talk with Him more, and will continue to add to my daily prayers a request for His guidance as we try to navigate these scary times. I just want an OPPORTUNITY - a chance to really utilize my talents and the hard work I have done all of these years and make some good money for my family!
This all started a few weeks ago when my review went a little differently than I first imagined it would. It wasn't a bad review in the slighest. I received the highest marks possible in the section having to do with my work, and the good job marks in the other areas as well. However, two years ago when I had been promoted to my current position, I had asked how the whole career progression worked, and they told me while it is not exactly laid out very well (major issue!), that in two years I should be eligible for the next promotion.
So I kind of thought my chance had come, and I would at least be given the option. Now you may wonder why I said option vs. promotion because there are very few cases someone would not WANT to accept a promotion. However, being the genius people that they are, this promotion step (even though it's not the right time because I wouldn't be managing anyone or anything like that) would switch me from being able to get overtime/double-time like I currently am to being solely salaried. I had heard complaining before from people in my same position in other offices that they actually felt like they lost money in switching over, which is why I thought I would be given the choice and get to see what the pure salary version would be vs. what I make with salary and overtime in a typical year. However, I was told that they hadn't "pushed" for my promotion this year because of the economy and that it probably wasn't a good time to have to switch over.
All of this I understand and I may have decided against taking the promotion,but at the same time, it really hurt me that I wasn't given the choice. It made me feel like I wasn't performing well (even though that wasn't the case) and it made me feel like others in the company who didn't know the reasoning behind it would think I wasn't performing well since I didn't receive the promotion even though people in other offices who have been at our company for less time got it earlier. To top it all off, my coworker did receive her first promotion (which she definitely deserved), but now we are the same exact title and she has been here for just over a year, and I have been here over 3.5 years!!!
From that point on, I was determined to figure out how I could better myself even further so that they would stop and pay attention and give me recognition or a promotion or something. If this company wasn't willing to help me further myself by giving me the promotion, then I needed to do something for myself. So I looked at certifications I could receive and masters degrees that I might want to pursue and everything else under the sun. As much as I might enjoy and even prosper later on down the line from partaking in something like that, in the short term, those things equal extra $$, and since I didn't get a raise this year nor did my husband due to the economy), we are feeling the pinch in trying to be conscious of our budget especially since our son starts full-time preschool in the fall which will cost us twice what we are paying now!
Needless to say, I was a bit frustrated, but I have tried to plod on and not be disappointed or discouraged. I am hoping our economy picks up soon so I have other options eventually - I'm not very patient with this time of our world! This weekend, though, put the final nail in the coffin for me and I'm having a very hard time feeling motivated or excited about work-related life. My good friend that I have known my entire life told me how much she makes and how she was going to ask for a raise since they are underpaying her, and the amount she CURRENTLY makes without the raise is $21 THOUSAND more than me!!!! Not to mention the fact that she started at her company a year after I started at mine, AND I actually interviewed at that company when I interviewed at my current company, didn't get the job so I took this job, then they called me a month in and said they made a mistake and wanted to hire me, and I told them I was happy and settling in to my new position and wasn't interested. It makes me want to shoot myself in the foot!!!!
I know that everything happens for a reason, and I will continue to maintain a positive front for all of the world to see. I just need the ability to vent about it and put my thoughts out there. As frustrated as I am with the situation, I know God has a plan, and the last time I was in this situation of frustration, God provided me with many things. I am hoping we can get to church this Sunday so I can talk with Him more, and will continue to add to my daily prayers a request for His guidance as we try to navigate these scary times. I just want an OPPORTUNITY - a chance to really utilize my talents and the hard work I have done all of these years and make some good money for my family!
4.22.2009
Sorority Recruitment
After being blissfully unaware the last few years about the goings-on of sorority life post-college, I have recently been dragged back into the fold to write recommendations & letters of support for some local high school girls who are about to head to college in the fall and are interested in sorority recruitment. Don't get me wrong - I totally enjoyed the experience of being in a sorority when I was in college, and at a school like the one I went to, it was virtually the ONLY way you could meet people and be involved. However, I was perfectly fine being an alumnae and that being the end of it. I tried going to to the sorority alumnae group for about a year after college and it was fun, but I'm just not one of those overly girly girls who needs social women's organizations to feel complete.
Yet here I am trying to council and support these ladies on how to go through sorority recruitment on their various campuses and hoping they will rush my sorority. Not that it matters because I barely even know these girls, and each campus is so different that my sorority might be the right personality fit for them on another campus. It's just funny to me though how you can be so unaware and then dragged back into the thick of things when something like this comes up. So I'm researching the proper forms and letters and hoping to help them out - mainly because I know how scary and intimidating it can all be and how glad I was that I had met some people in my future sorority during the fall semester of my freshman year. I can't even imagine having to rush before school had even started and you even had a glimpse of what the different organizations were like. Silly sorority craziness!
Yet here I am trying to council and support these ladies on how to go through sorority recruitment on their various campuses and hoping they will rush my sorority. Not that it matters because I barely even know these girls, and each campus is so different that my sorority might be the right personality fit for them on another campus. It's just funny to me though how you can be so unaware and then dragged back into the thick of things when something like this comes up. So I'm researching the proper forms and letters and hoping to help them out - mainly because I know how scary and intimidating it can all be and how glad I was that I had met some people in my future sorority during the fall semester of my freshman year. I can't even imagine having to rush before school had even started and you even had a glimpse of what the different organizations were like. Silly sorority craziness!
4.21.2009
Ridiculous
Who plans a "family picnic" on a work day from 1-4 pm?
This is supposed to be a "make-up" for the fact that we don't get to bring our spouses to the retreat this year. Yet, they plan the event for a work day during the afternoon. I hate to be the party pooper but I will be headed home because my husband is not going to take off his LIMITED vacation time to go eat a hot dog in a local park on a workday afternoon! You'd think people could think ahead!!!
This is supposed to be a "make-up" for the fact that we don't get to bring our spouses to the retreat this year. Yet, they plan the event for a work day during the afternoon. I hate to be the party pooper but I will be headed home because my husband is not going to take off his LIMITED vacation time to go eat a hot dog in a local park on a workday afternoon! You'd think people could think ahead!!!
Funny thing happened on the way to work
Spotted - guy in his mid-forties jamming out to tunes in his car on the drive to work this morning and banging on his steering wheel and visor like he was playing the best gig of his life!
Great way to start off the day with a smile!
Great way to start off the day with a smile!
Confessions about Me
Here are a few things you need to know about me to start off this new blog:
1) I am turning 30 in exactly two months and one day and for some reason it has really gotten under my skin!
2) I plan to write things on here that are on my mind and will change names and things to keep my identity (and the identity of those I discuss) secret. Some of the things I say may not be pretty but you don't have to like them and I welcome comments because discussion is healthy.
3) My relationship with my mother is virtually non-existent. No matter how hard I try she is not going to change and she is not willing to see things any other way than her own. So I have an interesting balance in trying to stay involved in my parents' lives without ruining my own.
4) I am not one of those people that is satisfied with being average. I'm totally okay with other people being average if that's what makes them happy - I just can't let myself be average. I am always pushing for more, trying to challenge myself further, and generally not okay with the status quo. It's just me and it's my biggest strength and my biggest weakness.
5) I have an amazing husband who I have been married to for nearly 5 years as well as a 3 year old son. I couldn't ask for a better family life in that respect, but our life is far from perfect either. I feel very blessed with the family God has given me especially given my #3 situation above.
6) I love to dance - just about everywhere and anytime. Now don't get dirty and think I mean stripping or pole dancing or something like that. Just the other cool kinds like jazz, hip-hop, tap, at weddings, at the club, in my car, with my son, etc. I HATE ballet although I respect *most* people who do it because I know how difficult it is - I just hate how slow it is and don't have the appreciation for it that I should because I don't enjoy doing it myself.
7) I am an only child - this makes #3 even more difficult. I liked being an only child growing up and even don't really mind it all that much now. That's why I am okay with my son possibly being an only child. That topic is still up for debate, but I'm okay with it if we decide to stick with one and know the benefits for him if he ends up being an only child.
8) I am constantly evolving (see #4) and because of this I have had several "careers" in my life and still not sure if the one I am in (3.5+ years and counting) is the one that will stick. Mainly because I feel like I've hit a rut in my job (or my company not sure which) and don't know how to get out of it. This is something I will probably write about more soon because it is on my mind a lot right now.
9) I still have a few close friends from high school, a few from college, and a few from work life. I am kind of shy at first but am outgoing once I know people, and I am friendly most of the time and make friends easily. I just don't trust people too much because I've been burned several times.
10) I have done some things in my early adult life that I am not 100% proud of but know that God was watching over me and saved me from a lot. I am overall a good kid though - always have been, always will be. I can have lots of fun without drinking, but I can appreciate a good glass of wine or mojito now and then. I like who I am and know that all of my experiences (good and bad) make up who I am.
11) I am a big believer in "everything happens for a reason" - I have to be given all of the great and/or crazy things that have happened to me in my life. I know God has a plan for me and I'm just hoping I can fulfill my dreams one day (once I figure out exactly what those are). I worry a lot about money and being taken care of, but then I remember that everything will be okay if I just give it time and pray about it.
12) I'm obsessed with weddings. Really, I think I just enjoy party-planning in general and weddings happen the most often. But I like to help my friends/coworkers find a great deal or come up with creative ideas on a budget. There is nothing I like more than finding something amazing without paying a fortune for it. I am not artistic but I am creative, and I love that because I am blessed to have some more artistic friends who can help follow through the idea if I can't seem to create what's in my head.
13) My lucky number is 13 so I will stop after this one! I spend a LOT of time in the car in traffic, but I've learned to use this time as time to think and process things from the day (on the way home) or to jam out to music and relax. I take a dance class two nights per week by my work so that helps me to avoid traffic on those evenings at least, but otherwise it is the bane of my existence. If I could have that 1.5-2 hours back a day, I would be so much happier, but such is life and money doesn't grow on trees so we live farther away in the suburbs which is enjoyable on the evenings and weekends. You can't have it all unfortunately!
More to come soon!!! I look forward to confessing to you (and hope to get some readers soon!)!
1) I am turning 30 in exactly two months and one day and for some reason it has really gotten under my skin!
2) I plan to write things on here that are on my mind and will change names and things to keep my identity (and the identity of those I discuss) secret. Some of the things I say may not be pretty but you don't have to like them and I welcome comments because discussion is healthy.
3) My relationship with my mother is virtually non-existent. No matter how hard I try she is not going to change and she is not willing to see things any other way than her own. So I have an interesting balance in trying to stay involved in my parents' lives without ruining my own.
4) I am not one of those people that is satisfied with being average. I'm totally okay with other people being average if that's what makes them happy - I just can't let myself be average. I am always pushing for more, trying to challenge myself further, and generally not okay with the status quo. It's just me and it's my biggest strength and my biggest weakness.
5) I have an amazing husband who I have been married to for nearly 5 years as well as a 3 year old son. I couldn't ask for a better family life in that respect, but our life is far from perfect either. I feel very blessed with the family God has given me especially given my #3 situation above.
6) I love to dance - just about everywhere and anytime. Now don't get dirty and think I mean stripping or pole dancing or something like that. Just the other cool kinds like jazz, hip-hop, tap, at weddings, at the club, in my car, with my son, etc. I HATE ballet although I respect *most* people who do it because I know how difficult it is - I just hate how slow it is and don't have the appreciation for it that I should because I don't enjoy doing it myself.
7) I am an only child - this makes #3 even more difficult. I liked being an only child growing up and even don't really mind it all that much now. That's why I am okay with my son possibly being an only child. That topic is still up for debate, but I'm okay with it if we decide to stick with one and know the benefits for him if he ends up being an only child.
8) I am constantly evolving (see #4) and because of this I have had several "careers" in my life and still not sure if the one I am in (3.5+ years and counting) is the one that will stick. Mainly because I feel like I've hit a rut in my job (or my company not sure which) and don't know how to get out of it. This is something I will probably write about more soon because it is on my mind a lot right now.
9) I still have a few close friends from high school, a few from college, and a few from work life. I am kind of shy at first but am outgoing once I know people, and I am friendly most of the time and make friends easily. I just don't trust people too much because I've been burned several times.
10) I have done some things in my early adult life that I am not 100% proud of but know that God was watching over me and saved me from a lot. I am overall a good kid though - always have been, always will be. I can have lots of fun without drinking, but I can appreciate a good glass of wine or mojito now and then. I like who I am and know that all of my experiences (good and bad) make up who I am.
11) I am a big believer in "everything happens for a reason" - I have to be given all of the great and/or crazy things that have happened to me in my life. I know God has a plan for me and I'm just hoping I can fulfill my dreams one day (once I figure out exactly what those are). I worry a lot about money and being taken care of, but then I remember that everything will be okay if I just give it time and pray about it.
12) I'm obsessed with weddings. Really, I think I just enjoy party-planning in general and weddings happen the most often. But I like to help my friends/coworkers find a great deal or come up with creative ideas on a budget. There is nothing I like more than finding something amazing without paying a fortune for it. I am not artistic but I am creative, and I love that because I am blessed to have some more artistic friends who can help follow through the idea if I can't seem to create what's in my head.
13) My lucky number is 13 so I will stop after this one! I spend a LOT of time in the car in traffic, but I've learned to use this time as time to think and process things from the day (on the way home) or to jam out to music and relax. I take a dance class two nights per week by my work so that helps me to avoid traffic on those evenings at least, but otherwise it is the bane of my existence. If I could have that 1.5-2 hours back a day, I would be so much happier, but such is life and money doesn't grow on trees so we live farther away in the suburbs which is enjoyable on the evenings and weekends. You can't have it all unfortunately!
More to come soon!!! I look forward to confessing to you (and hope to get some readers soon!)!
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