So remember a few weeks ago when I said a recruiter contacted me about a position but I thought it wasn't going to work out? So it's quite possible that it's headed in a good direction now. The thing that makes me feel really good about even considering it is 1) they are pursuing me and 2) I have been pretty honest about my expectations from a job and what I don't like about my current one vs what I want from a new one and they still like me and are wanting to talk to me. So...we'll see where this open door leads. It may be nowhere and I may find out that it isn't going to work out, but it's fun to have the possibility.
For the past few weeks, I have really felt that my position here has been so meaningless. I am basically a glorified admin person due to the fact that my boss can't handle me having any sort of responsibility. It is so frustrating because I have no idea why I got promoted if I'm going to do less meaningful work, but whatever. If only I could keep my hours in check to make it worth my while! ;)
Here are the positives so far from what I've heard about this other opportunity - more decision-making power, more of a chance to be an "expert" for the offices/schools I would be handling, more opportunity to work on internal projects that matter to the North American group as a whole, not to mention the fact that it would only be two schools (I now manage SEVEN) so I would imagine the travel would be less, and it seems like there might be opportunity to work from home which would be GREAT considering my son will be starting kindergarten next year and it would help to have a little more flexibility. So we'll see what happens, but I'm feeling like there might be something promising here. And if not, there have to be other options out there - I just don't know how much longer I can take the situation I am in now. It's become unbearable, is causing me to have panic attacks in the middle of the night occasionally, and is generally causing me too much stress and sadness.
I've decided that my 31st year of life will be an amazing one and since it starts tomorrow, I'm hoping my birthday wishes all come true and that I hear back soon about seeing where this open door might lead. :)
6.21.2010
6.15.2010
Birthday wish
I just realized that my birthday is a week away. I'm going to be the big 3-1! It seems like these days birthdays are just another day especially when I have to work (ugh it's a Tuesday). Luckily, my hubby is awesome and always tries to make it special. I don't really have any huge birthday present that I want this year - just a small little things that I don't want to have to go and buy myself because they are more "wants" than "needs."
So for my birthday this year, I am asking for one wish to be granted. I wish for inner peace and strength to get through the days ahead and to create many more happy moments. I am truly blessed in all that I have and I need to be more cognizant of it instead of being mopey! I have been so overwhelmed lately with everything that is going on that I am just exhausted all of the time and that has to stop. I need the peace and strength to get through my busy time at my job and to search for the next big thing. My 31st year is going to be a big one I've determined! Even though I'm getting older, I am still young at heart and have a lot of life to live ahead - just want to be surrounded by good people and positivity! I know that I am a strong worker and that I can get where I want to be - I just need to have a little patience and luck and a lot of hard work and I will get there soon enough! Everything happens for a reason! :)
So for my birthday this year, I am asking for one wish to be granted. I wish for inner peace and strength to get through the days ahead and to create many more happy moments. I am truly blessed in all that I have and I need to be more cognizant of it instead of being mopey! I have been so overwhelmed lately with everything that is going on that I am just exhausted all of the time and that has to stop. I need the peace and strength to get through my busy time at my job and to search for the next big thing. My 31st year is going to be a big one I've determined! Even though I'm getting older, I am still young at heart and have a lot of life to live ahead - just want to be surrounded by good people and positivity! I know that I am a strong worker and that I can get where I want to be - I just need to have a little patience and luck and a lot of hard work and I will get there soon enough! Everything happens for a reason! :)
6.14.2010
Quick update
I don't have a whole lot of time to post today because our M*B*A intern group just started today and I'm trying to help out where I can. Things are good again with my son's school - had a great talk with the supervisor of his area and the assistant director of the school so I'm feeling much better about him staying there both in the short and long term. They were very open and honest about the changes (wish they would have just been from the start), and I feel safe and satisfied with him being there for another year until he starts kindergarten next fall.
Yesterday, I kind of got overwhelmed with everything that is going on. I think it's really hitting me how much extra time I am having to devote to my work and give up with my family and extra "me time." And since I am no longer eligible to make extra money to be at the events, it seems even more frustrating and time-consuming. We are just really busy right now and I can't wait until July when we have 11 days to ourselves away from computers and work and everything else. Hopefully my parents will behave and we can have an amazing trip! :) One month from tomorrow we leave for Alaska!
I am hopeful that I can pass this exam at the end of June, but I know it is very difficult and I'm trying to study as hard as I can without putting too much pressure on myself just in case. I want to pass and succeed and use it to get out of here, but if I don't, I can always take it again at the end of the year and I still have my masters certificate for my resume regardless. Deep breaths!
Okay that's all for now - hope you all had a great weekend and I'm hoping this week goes quickly and easily!
Yesterday, I kind of got overwhelmed with everything that is going on. I think it's really hitting me how much extra time I am having to devote to my work and give up with my family and extra "me time." And since I am no longer eligible to make extra money to be at the events, it seems even more frustrating and time-consuming. We are just really busy right now and I can't wait until July when we have 11 days to ourselves away from computers and work and everything else. Hopefully my parents will behave and we can have an amazing trip! :) One month from tomorrow we leave for Alaska!
I am hopeful that I can pass this exam at the end of June, but I know it is very difficult and I'm trying to study as hard as I can without putting too much pressure on myself just in case. I want to pass and succeed and use it to get out of here, but if I don't, I can always take it again at the end of the year and I still have my masters certificate for my resume regardless. Deep breaths!
Okay that's all for now - hope you all had a great weekend and I'm hoping this week goes quickly and easily!
6.11.2010
It's Been a Long Week
There are times when I feel like the week just rushes by so quickly and there don't seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done. Then there are other times when there is too much to do and not enough time to do it. This week was one of those latter type of weeks. It seems like I have the weight of a million and one things on my shoulders right now, and I'm struggling to find the best way to alleviate all of the burden and enjoy my life. There are changes that need to be made - some that are in my control and some that aren't - and I know that change is hard and takes time. But I'm ready for something more - I deserve something more.
The one solid and stable area in my life right now is my marriage with my husband and our relationship as a family with my son. I am so thankful to have them both in my life to get through the good times and the bad, and I don't know what I would do if all of the wheels on the bus were off and rolling away. At least I have one really good solid set for up front! ;)
Work is starting to get to the point where it is becoming unbearable for me. Not the actual work - it's just that I've lost all of my excitement and passion for it. I feel like the joy I used to feel has been replaced by bitterness and anger, and that is really just not the type of person I am or want to be. I'm bitter that I work my tail off and get "promoted" only to be basically shoved back in my place by a loss in income. I'm angry that I work extra hours (without pay now) and try my hardest to be the best I can be and yet there is no room for advancement or recognition or future opportunities and my boss tries to micromanage me to death for no reason at all. I find myself internally saying "you can get through this because hopefully next time you won't be here" or "it's going to be okay because maybe next time you won't be the one to put up with it - it will be someone else's problem." That would be all well and good if I actually had something to go to, but I don't know and I don't know how to find it.
I look at some of my friends who are very deserving of the positions I have but have better positions than me nonetheless. And I think to myself - when is it my turn? When will someone give me a chance to supervise people or at least a career path towards that? Why am I giving up time away from my son and my house and my family with traveling and long hours and crazy schedules when I'm not getting anything back in return (a stable job of course which I am VERY thankful for and good benefits - so it's not nothing but I think I should get more)? I know I will get that time soon (at least I hope), but I'm anxious to get there. In the meantime, I will concentrate on my classes and passing my exam at the end of the month (oh please let me pass!).
On top of all this work mumbo-jumbo, I have had a weird feeling this week about my son's preschool. Up until this point, I have been super happy with his school and felt very safe and secure knowing he was there with good people and learning lots of things. However, in the past month, I feel like something has changed. My son's teacher was taken away from him to move to the toddler area and he and a few classmates were shuttled up to the next grade up area for the summer. I thought at the time it was all very strange because we never received a letter from the school telling us what was going on or of the upcoming changes or received any information about his new teacher. And then when I went this week to drop him off, I've noticed the place is a ghost town and the entire wing where he formerly was is shut down and they are down to just three small classrooms for the two grades combined. To me, that makes me wonder if something happened that I wasn't aware of, and that the other parents found out and we didn't. Why would their enrollment drop so dramatically? It didn't do that last year even.
Of course as usual when I get worried about stuff like this, I went into super research mode and started checking records with the state family & protective services department and such. The perfect record I saw 3 years ago when we first put him in has now been tarnished with several violations in 2009 specifically in areas that are scary to me. I can overlook a piece of paper being misplaced or something small like that because that can easily be filled out and updated. But not paying attention to children or inappropriately handling them is not something I will tolerate. My son is about to be in PreK this next fall, and it scares me to have him somewhere that has now become so disorganized as that is a formative year and he is just on the verge of learning to read. I'm distraught over what to do, but I am going this afternoon with my husband to talk to the school and get some answers. If I don't like what I hear, I'm determined to find something else for him - even if it's starting in the fall and he has to stick out the summer there. It's hard working full time when you are concerned about your son's wellbeing. I hope we can get this all figured out soon.
Enough of my craziness, I guess I should actually do a little work today since I'm leaving early for that meeting! I have faith that things will get better soon - I'm just ready and waiting for the right moment to come!
The one solid and stable area in my life right now is my marriage with my husband and our relationship as a family with my son. I am so thankful to have them both in my life to get through the good times and the bad, and I don't know what I would do if all of the wheels on the bus were off and rolling away. At least I have one really good solid set for up front! ;)
Work is starting to get to the point where it is becoming unbearable for me. Not the actual work - it's just that I've lost all of my excitement and passion for it. I feel like the joy I used to feel has been replaced by bitterness and anger, and that is really just not the type of person I am or want to be. I'm bitter that I work my tail off and get "promoted" only to be basically shoved back in my place by a loss in income. I'm angry that I work extra hours (without pay now) and try my hardest to be the best I can be and yet there is no room for advancement or recognition or future opportunities and my boss tries to micromanage me to death for no reason at all. I find myself internally saying "you can get through this because hopefully next time you won't be here" or "it's going to be okay because maybe next time you won't be the one to put up with it - it will be someone else's problem." That would be all well and good if I actually had something to go to, but I don't know and I don't know how to find it.
I look at some of my friends who are very deserving of the positions I have but have better positions than me nonetheless. And I think to myself - when is it my turn? When will someone give me a chance to supervise people or at least a career path towards that? Why am I giving up time away from my son and my house and my family with traveling and long hours and crazy schedules when I'm not getting anything back in return (a stable job of course which I am VERY thankful for and good benefits - so it's not nothing but I think I should get more)? I know I will get that time soon (at least I hope), but I'm anxious to get there. In the meantime, I will concentrate on my classes and passing my exam at the end of the month (oh please let me pass!).
On top of all this work mumbo-jumbo, I have had a weird feeling this week about my son's preschool. Up until this point, I have been super happy with his school and felt very safe and secure knowing he was there with good people and learning lots of things. However, in the past month, I feel like something has changed. My son's teacher was taken away from him to move to the toddler area and he and a few classmates were shuttled up to the next grade up area for the summer. I thought at the time it was all very strange because we never received a letter from the school telling us what was going on or of the upcoming changes or received any information about his new teacher. And then when I went this week to drop him off, I've noticed the place is a ghost town and the entire wing where he formerly was is shut down and they are down to just three small classrooms for the two grades combined. To me, that makes me wonder if something happened that I wasn't aware of, and that the other parents found out and we didn't. Why would their enrollment drop so dramatically? It didn't do that last year even.
Of course as usual when I get worried about stuff like this, I went into super research mode and started checking records with the state family & protective services department and such. The perfect record I saw 3 years ago when we first put him in has now been tarnished with several violations in 2009 specifically in areas that are scary to me. I can overlook a piece of paper being misplaced or something small like that because that can easily be filled out and updated. But not paying attention to children or inappropriately handling them is not something I will tolerate. My son is about to be in PreK this next fall, and it scares me to have him somewhere that has now become so disorganized as that is a formative year and he is just on the verge of learning to read. I'm distraught over what to do, but I am going this afternoon with my husband to talk to the school and get some answers. If I don't like what I hear, I'm determined to find something else for him - even if it's starting in the fall and he has to stick out the summer there. It's hard working full time when you are concerned about your son's wellbeing. I hope we can get this all figured out soon.
Enough of my craziness, I guess I should actually do a little work today since I'm leaving early for that meeting! I have faith that things will get better soon - I'm just ready and waiting for the right moment to come!
6.01.2010
Restless
All day I have felt restless. It's probably because of the fact that I have a million and one things bouncing around my brain right now! And the fact that I just had a vacation not too long ago, a three day weekend last weekend, and another three day weekend coming up for a wedding this weekend. Two nights from now, we will be heading to Austin for the festivities to begin.
This week I am preparing for my intern group to arrive. Our first meeting will be this Sunday night where I will get to enjoy a good dinner with them, but it will be my first real time of having to do extra "work" without the benefit of OT/DT to sweeten the deal. I'm not looking forward to "working for free" this summer, but it is what it is. I feel pretty good about having prepared most of it ahead of time, so I'm not too stressed about being out on Friday before they arrive.
At the wedding this weekend, I am not only the matron of honor but I am also doing all of the flowers for the wedding. I'm really excited about doing the flowers and a little nervous too. I went this weekend and got all of the little extras I needed (floral tape, floral clay, foam balls, etc.). I can't wait for it to be done and hopefully look awesome so I can take lots of pictures to be proud of. It will be a great way for me to express my creativity so I'm really excited to see my vision be a reality. Now if I can just get through Friday and the ceremony, then I can really enjoy the reception!
This weekend, I received an e-mail through Linked!n regarding a position similar to mine with another firm similar to mine. I think the reputation of my firm is better, but I e-mailed back to just get some more details including the salary range they were considering for the position. Unfortunately, it's about the same as what I am making now, although they are only requiring 2 years of experience and I have 5! It would have been nice to be making this much 3 years ago! I have to believe that one of these days, someone out there is going to see my true worth and give me a position that will challenge me and give me the money and benefits I deserve.
In the meantime, I will continue my classes (finished the first one this weekend - woohoo!) and work hard here to see what happens. I have given up on a real future here even though it makes me want to cry to even think about having to leave, but I am probably going to need to stick around until the end of the year/beginning of the new year in order to get all of my classes completed and paid for by the company. I remain hopeful for my big break - I know they are out there because I have examples of them nearby through friends and former coworkers. I just need my turn! :)
Guess that's all for now - I will probably try to leave in about an hour so I can at least be at home and read or something to try to relax my brain a bit since it's on overdrive with all of this right now. I need to take things one day at a time and just be thankful for what I have right now - but I can still continue to push myself for even more because I know I can get it and I know I deserve it.
This past weekend was pretty fabulous as was our vacation so I'm looking forward to more good days ahead! :)
This week I am preparing for my intern group to arrive. Our first meeting will be this Sunday night where I will get to enjoy a good dinner with them, but it will be my first real time of having to do extra "work" without the benefit of OT/DT to sweeten the deal. I'm not looking forward to "working for free" this summer, but it is what it is. I feel pretty good about having prepared most of it ahead of time, so I'm not too stressed about being out on Friday before they arrive.
At the wedding this weekend, I am not only the matron of honor but I am also doing all of the flowers for the wedding. I'm really excited about doing the flowers and a little nervous too. I went this weekend and got all of the little extras I needed (floral tape, floral clay, foam balls, etc.). I can't wait for it to be done and hopefully look awesome so I can take lots of pictures to be proud of. It will be a great way for me to express my creativity so I'm really excited to see my vision be a reality. Now if I can just get through Friday and the ceremony, then I can really enjoy the reception!
This weekend, I received an e-mail through Linked!n regarding a position similar to mine with another firm similar to mine. I think the reputation of my firm is better, but I e-mailed back to just get some more details including the salary range they were considering for the position. Unfortunately, it's about the same as what I am making now, although they are only requiring 2 years of experience and I have 5! It would have been nice to be making this much 3 years ago! I have to believe that one of these days, someone out there is going to see my true worth and give me a position that will challenge me and give me the money and benefits I deserve.
In the meantime, I will continue my classes (finished the first one this weekend - woohoo!) and work hard here to see what happens. I have given up on a real future here even though it makes me want to cry to even think about having to leave, but I am probably going to need to stick around until the end of the year/beginning of the new year in order to get all of my classes completed and paid for by the company. I remain hopeful for my big break - I know they are out there because I have examples of them nearby through friends and former coworkers. I just need my turn! :)
Guess that's all for now - I will probably try to leave in about an hour so I can at least be at home and read or something to try to relax my brain a bit since it's on overdrive with all of this right now. I need to take things one day at a time and just be thankful for what I have right now - but I can still continue to push myself for even more because I know I can get it and I know I deserve it.
This past weekend was pretty fabulous as was our vacation so I'm looking forward to more good days ahead! :)
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