Holes

I'm in a rut - I'm in a hole.  I don't know how to dig out.  I am just stuck and can't see the light up above any more.  There are great things in the hole with me - loving husband, adorable son, great house, cars, material things.  But I want us to be on solid ground.  I want us to have something to celebrate (other than the wonderful day-to-day of course that I'm very thankful for).  My job is sucking the life out of me.  It's not bad by any means, and I am grateful to have it and think that I work for a pretty good company in the grand scheme of things.  But I'm in a rut. 

I feel like I'm treading water for 4.5 years and somehow can't manage to make it to the side to get out and move on.  I sometimes wonder if I will ever get out.  I apply for a job here or there only to be quickly denied because I don't quite meet the qualifications or there are 500 other people out there with even more experience.  I don't think my resume speaks for me.  I don't think it shows what a hard worker I am, how I go above and beyond in my work, rarely miss work save for a few vacations a year and once in awhile a sick day, and still manage to be a wife and a mother.  Or how even when I have a million and one things go on with my specific duties, I still manage to find time to help out my coworkers or contribute to various committees/projects around the office to make it a better place.  Those things don't show on my resume, and I don't know how to make them. 

So I'm stuck.  I am hoping to at least get a promotion (which I deserved last year but wasn't given for no good reason) this year but it's still not enough.  It's just a promotion of title change and maybe a little salary bump, but there is no future here.  And yet I can't seem to get out and find something else either.  So I feel like I'm trying with all of my might to claw on the sides of the hole and dig out, but every time I think I'm making progress, more dirt slides back in and keeps me buried where I am.  I'm hopeful that one of these days someone will recognize the jewel that I am amongst the dirt and help to pull me out and give me another chance and let me be the person I know I can be.  Until then, I guess I'll keep on treading and keep on pushing myself to find that light at the top of the hole.